I’ll be right back I have to excuse myself

At the risk of being too graphic, toilets here really keep you guessing.

It doesn’t matter what I’ve done, the toilet does the same thing: the water goes up and up and up and up and doesn’t seem like it’s ever going to go down.

I panic and and quietly say no no no why are you doing this and the toilet’s like “You know I don’t have to explain myself.” and the water keeps rising. And I beg and it doesn’t listen and I think maybe it will go down like it did all the other times and the toilet is like “No, not this time. This time the water will never go down.”

Then the water always goes down, it’s always fine. I wash my hands, and I try to regain composure but my blood pressure is probably off the charts by now. And I know it’s only going to be a few hours before I have to do the whole thing again.

3 thoughts on “I’ll be right back I have to excuse myself

  1. There are so many exhausting things about Dutch toilets. The all-time worst toilet design has to be “the examination shelf,” a feature I will never understand nor appreciate. Every Dutch home I’ve been in except one (the blue toilet pictured in the following link) has had one. Ye gods, what a nightmare.

    But also, have you yet noticed how Dutch toilets seem to flush in a hundred different ways? In 2005 I tried to take photos of all the different flushing mechanisms I encountered, but I know I’ve seen others.

    Shiny Metal Flush: Bus Station in Utrecht

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    1. Whoa this is so thorough, I love it! Another thing that makes me nervous is that most of the toilets I’ve seen have all the mechanism hidden somewhere in the wall (like the one you saw in the Utrecht bus station). What am I supposed to do if something bad does happen??

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