Is the word “heren” German, and does it mean men or women? Sometimes it’s on bathroom doors, but I can never remember what it means.

Last weekend I was thinking about it as I walked across a bridge, but it was hard to concentrate because there were SO many people screaming. It seemed like everyone around me was screaming, everyone except for one guy, who was holding up a cell phone and videotaping me.

I looked to my right, toward some red flashing lights and a siren, and saw a woman in a raincoat waving her arms all over. That’s when I noticed I was the only person on the bridge, everyone else was on one side or the other screaming at me to move so that the bridge could go up and a boat covered in gravel could go through.

I ran back and stood next to a woman who told me that these bridges take everyone a while to get used to. She didn’t know that last week I moved here from a city that also has raised bridges, and I didn’t tell her.

When the boat had gone by and the bridge was back down and we all crossed, the videotaping man was still there on the other side and still recording me. He held his phone out with both hands to get it close to my face as I passed.

I winked at him, which would have been a cool and confident way to end an embarrassing (and poorly filmed, I bet) YouTube video, except I’m terrible at winking so it probably looked like I’d just gotten sick. But I think winking is like crossing bridges. You just have to keep trying to do it until enough people scream at you to stop.